Skip to content

Valentine’s Reading: A Follow-Up

13.February.2011

A day before Valentine’s Day, so this is me, posting with the season.

Because I took a lot of flak from some of my lady friends after they read the two Valentine’s Readings I posted the other day.

Because, as always, I strive for balance. And equality. So, here you go. As a sort of mea culpa. From me, to you, and the other ladies that have or may have taken offense after reading my previous two posts.

And because we should celebrate each holiday (even the working holidays) with some reading time.

Ode to the nice girls
Written by the girls of D-202 (Katness, D$$, AJ, and Suze-dogg) in response to “Ode to the Nice Guys”

This is a tribute to the nice girls. These are the girls who are safe. The girls whom guys who have girlfriends are allowed to hang out with because they’re not viewed as a threat. These are the girls who dress respectably… they don’t go and get “skank clothes” and parade themselves around, catching the attention of every drooling, testosterone-filled boy on earth. These are the girls who are okay with going to chick-fil-a on a date, hanging out, watching a movie, playing a game, or doing some other low-cost, high-fun form of entertainment. Because after all, it’s really about the quality time that they spend with the guy and not the amount of money that is flowing from his pockets in order to please her every whim and desire (or so he thinks) during the date.

This is in honor of the girls who take the time to ask their guy friends “how’s life?” and to listen carefully when the answer is given. The girls who go out of their way to make cookies or cheer up male friends in distress. Yeah, we know “men are from Mars” and “women are from Venus,” but a simple “thank you” is pretty darn universal.

This goes out to the girls who must sit complacently while their guy friends discuss the “hotness” of the girl at the next table over. They watch as these guys date or lust over each and every self-centered, trashy, insecure, flirtatious, and flighty girl they come into contact with.

When asked, most guys say they would like to date a nice girl. However, when faced with such an opportunity, they claim that “I love her… like a little sister” or “There are no such things as nice girls. They’re all evil.” These guys continue to complain about how all girls are “manipulative” and “gossipy” and wonder why in the world they all go to the bathroom at the same time.

But, we must confess, there are guys out there who realize the value of their nice friends who are girls. These are the guys who should be praised for their willingness to go with the flow, hang out, and chill. These guys, however, fail to consider these nice girls as anything more than friends or to step up to the plate and consider them for a Saturday night date or the upcoming dance even though they possess all the qualities that guys claim they are looking for.

But, a note to the nice girls. Eventually all guys will (or at least should) realize that they don’t want to have a relationship with a girl who wants all of their money and who will only date them until a guy who is better or more enhancing for her social status comes along. So, until those guys realize what is right in front of them, a word of encouragement to the nice girls. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of being treated like a doormat. In all honesty, you are valuable. Clearly, you possess qualities that cause your guy friends to want to hang out with you. The world needs your encouragement, your willingness to take part in spontaneous activities, your ability to continue to enjoy life even though you watch as countless nasty, malicious female sirens blind the nice guys with their alluring ways. For all of the random, frustrating, and seemingly non-sensical things you tolerate, don’t lose hope. Nice guys do exist and will someday realize that nice girls, who are not evil, exist as well. Fear not, your day will come. And perhaps your prince will too.

* * *

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!!

Ode to the nice girls
Written by Jessica Leigh Griffith in response to “Ode to the Nice Guys”

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don’t give it up on the first date, who don’t want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they’ve heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren’t perfect and that the guys they’re interested in aren’t either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe… maybe this time he’ll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don’t deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” to “time heals all wounds.” This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it’s an experience that they don’t want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they’d rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn’t care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they’re too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one’s for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won’t because it’s easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he’s just not ready, he’s just not over her, he’s just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it’s easier to believe that it’s not that they don’t want you, it’s that they don’t want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you’ve returned home alone, for the nights when you’ve seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he’s with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t want a relationship: it was that he didn’t want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he’d realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the “I really like you, so let’s still be friends” comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you’ve received from your female friends, for the nights they’ve reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you’d have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we’ve believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we’d have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don’t think that they deserve more, because they’ve been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don’t understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don’t appreciate them and don’t want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call… and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the “stalker chick” you’d met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this “nice girl” who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you’re not looking for a nice girl. You’re not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you’re looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don’t say you’re on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won’t answer your catcalls, sometimes you’re looking at a nice girl in whore’s clothing—we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we’re all thinking the same thing: “This isn’t me. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I’ll have slept alone and I’ll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me.” You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don’t want the nice girl.. so don’t say you’re looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we’re willing to extend—but in return, we’re looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they’re running they’re chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets… the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she’s a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won’t matter), hoping against hope that maybe you’ll realize that they’re the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won’t last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we’re waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what’s a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?).

* * * * * * * * *

WORD

1. Un-freaking-believable. Anderson Silva knocks out Vitor Belfort with a kick to the chin.

2. Easy to see why this has managed to make a huge buzz all around the web. This is proof that you don’t need state-of-the-art special effects to produce something entertaining. Though you have to have seen the original Star Wars trilogy to get it. 😆

And if you liked that, check THIS out. 😀

3. Happy 1st birthday Euphie!

4. Azkals defeat Mongolia, 2-0. But we’re a ways to go.

5. The Buckeyes’ Jared Sullinger: a real class act.

6. Made peace with Kevin, who went from being an acquaintance, to rival, to friend. We’ve finally come full circle.

Hey Kevin: Thank you for not beating the crap out of me a long time ago in Bonitos when I was (intentionally) being, as you aptly put it, such an ass. Add that to the many reasons why I respect you.

And thank you for accepting my apology. It means a lot.

7. NCIS episode A Man Walks Into A Bar, with the Kate Todd subplot. 🙂

SHAME

1. Didn’t pass the LAE. Not that I didn’t see it coming.

2. Damn. Not another superbug.

* * * * * * * * *

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Finally, some luck for Cleveland!”

~Rick Kamla, when Los Angeles Clippers guard Randy Foye missed a three-point shot in overtime (that would’ve put the pressure on the Cleveland Cavaliers in their next possession), making it possible for the Cavs to finally end their 26-game losing streak.

Advertisements
10 Comments leave one →
  1. fradgeebots permalink
    13.February.2011 8:59 pm

    Bukas ko na babasahin yung pangalawa. 😀

    • 14.February.2011 5:26 am

      Hehe. Haba ba? Kailangan daw dalawa din yung i-post kong pambawi, since dalawa yung readings na chauvinistic kuno.

      Palagay ko naman magandang mabasa ng girls, pati na rin ng boys, yang dalawang essay sa taas. 🙂

  2. Love (hehehehe.) permalink
    14.February.2011 12:19 am

    Jedo!!! What i loved:

    1. who care more than they should for guys who don’t deserve their attention.
    (FTW!!! hahaha.)

    2. 3. Happy 1st birthday Euphie!

    3. 6. Made peace with Kevin, who went from being an acquaintance, to rival, to friend. We’ve finally come full circle.

    Hey Kevin: Thank you for not beating the crap out of me a long time ago in Bonitos when I was (intentionally) being, as you aptly put it, such an ass. Add that to the many reasons why I respect you.

    And thank you for accepting my apology. It means a lot.

    Finally! I’m so happy. YAY! will call you soon. you have to make kwento. 🙂

    What made me sad:

    1. Didn’t pass the LAE. Not that I didn’t see it coming. (you said you’d text me. 😦 oh well. am sorry.)

    • 14.February.2011 5:42 am

      Hi, Love. Yeah, sorry for not telling you about the LAE result. I was supposed to tell you about it after Euphie’s b-day bash, but with all the commotion, it slipped my mind.

      Anyway, there you go. I made sure to feature two essays that you’d find agreeable, to make up for what you claim to be chauvinistic texts that I posted earlier. 😀

      And sorry I wasn’t able to answer your call last night. Ze phone was on silent mode in my room while I stayed between the living room and dining room all night long. But you’re right, there’s a lot we have to talk about, so let’s talk soon. 🙂

      • Love permalink
        17.February.2011 11:53 pm

        hahahaha. gujab! we talked already. let’s talk some more. let’s go fair! hahahaha.

      • 18.February.2011 12:15 am

        Hehe. Mamat. See you tomorrow. Overnight LB! Yebah! 😀

  3. 15.February.2011 6:12 am

    Where is The Wait: A Scene?

    • 15.February.2011 6:22 am

      Oh dear. I think I accidentally published it a few hours ago. But it’s a work in progress, and is still under revision. It is scheduled to be published (again) later, at exactly 9:29am. 😀

      Oh, and NU, I’m already at Fringe‘s third season, just finished watching episode 4. It seems I might still be able to get caught up. 🙂

      • 15.February.2011 6:29 am

        I will take note of that, then.

        As for Fringe 304, oh goodness. You are so fast. Season 3 is a whirlwind. The latest episode, 313 brings more of what the rest of the season will be about. I have read that the producers are not taking it the “traditional” way. I am excited for you to catch up with the latest episode.

        Fringe S314 is up on Saturday. Then, Fringe S315 on the next Saturday. Haha! I really wish they don’t cancel the show after the third season.

      • 15.February.2011 9:59 am

        Season 3 is crazy!

        But I certainly like the “alternating” pattern they have, as the story shifts from over there to over here and vice versa. After such a storm leading up to Season 2’s finale up to 301’s conclusion, the show is really kicking it into high gear. Yet additional evidence for those who suspect that the end is near.

        Wow. I like that they intend to go through the road not taken. 😀

        I’m sure there are a lot of us who wish that Fringe doesn’t end in the near future.

        All we fans can do is hope and pray that the writers don’t screw it up.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: